


maybe we should walk away

by GracefulQuartz



Category: Destiny (Video Games)
Genre: Alcohol, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Heartbreak, Post-Break Up, These Are Not Good People, Unhealthy Relationships, and a lot of it, post-raid, turns out if you vanish right after a raid people think you're dead, unhealthy break up
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-21
Updated: 2020-06-29
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:39:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,770
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24843943
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GracefulQuartz/pseuds/GracefulQuartz
Summary: Running away is easy. Living with yourself after is not. Not with what you've left behind.A collection of missives between two useless Guardians, neither of whom get to read what the other has sent. Angst incoming. Will update tags as we go.[[These are short chapters mostly but I'm just getting back into the flow of writing, I hope you enjoy!]]
Relationships: Female Guardian/Female Guardian (Destiny), Guardian/Guardian (Destiny), Ishmaea Dell'arte/Astra-3
Comments: 1
Kudos: 5





	1. Intercepted Transmission from Hidden vessel "Hygiea Galliot" in a near-Jovian Orbit

**one week after king’s fall**

* * *

TYPE: Transcript [INTERCEPTED BY TK3-875 ALONG VANNET ROUTERS]

DESCRIPTION: Message

PARTIES: Two [2]. One [1] Ghost-type, designate Andromedus [a]; One [1] Guardian type, Class Warlock, designate Ishmaea Dell’arte [id]

ASSOCIATIONS: Taken King, the; Oryx; Hidden, the; -3, Astra; Dreadnought, the; Mir, Asher; field work

//AUDIO RECOVERED//

//TRANSCRIPT FOLLOWS.../

[a:0.1] Audio feed recording… hard links set to transmit as soon as recording finishes. Recording directly to the _Hygiea Galliot_ ’s hard-drive.

[id:0.1] Thank you, Andromedus.

[silence, followed by the clearing of a throat. Throat presumed to belong to [id]]

[id:0.2] We’ve been in flight for about 3 days, after making a quick pit stop at the City. The bio-samples were dropped off at point…

[a:0.2] It was point 3-b, quadrant A.

[id:0.3] Yes, thank you. They’ve been isolated in a containment field in a cold storage box. Shouldn’t be any sterile neutrinos popping up on scanners till you pop the lid.

[silence]

[id:0.4] Our destination is Io, then Enceladus. If we have time, we’ll pop by the Grave of the First Fleet. Lots of data to be found there, assuming it survived. 

[id:0.5] Once on Io, we’ll rendezvous with noted Gensym Scribe Asher Mir before delving into the Cradle. From there, communications will be sporadic, and I probably won’t be able to get any messages from the City.

[silence]

[id:0.6] Astra… if I didn’t know it’d get intercepted, I’d feel bad about sending this to you. We didn’t leave things right, and I’m sorry, and… I regret it. I regret leaving you and that I can’t come back. I don’t know if you can forgive me. Light knows I wouldn’t.

[a:0.3] You’re nearly out of time for this one.

[id:0.7] I love you. I didn’t stop. Tearing myself away, us apart, it was for the better. I don’t know if you’ll ever see that, especially when you won’t get these letters. Might be for the better.

[a:0.4] Thirty seconds-

[id:0.8] Check in on Fee, Astra. And to the agent that catches this, fu-

//TRANSCRIPT ENDS//

//NOTES//

This message was intercepted after being transmitted along secure lines with the improper encryption protocols. The size of the attached files also drew attention from the automated system, especially when regarding the origin of the transmission. The “intended” recipient seemed to be one Astra-3, a Hunter with whom VIP #2874 had worked with previously. The Agent seemed to know that these messages would never reach their target, so the actual intended recipient remains unknown, though the Hidden are a natural conclusion.

The message also contained detailed analyses of Hive structural and emission profiles, along with a brief but broad spectral analysis of #001-001-HIVE-ORX's energies, biological and technical emissions and video and audio footage of the confrontation between #001-002-HIVE-ORX and the Dreadnought assault team.

Several Hive and Taken samples were recovered from drop-off point 3-b, quadrant A. Determination of these samples is on-going, but given VIP #2874’s Vanguard-endorsed assault upon the Dreadnought, the origin of these samples is clear. Sample storage was as described and samples have now been moved to an appropriate facility for further examination and study.

This message and attached report on VIP#2874’s suitability has been forwarded onto IKO-006, as along with an analysis of VIP #2874’s mental, emotional and physical wellbeing as supported by their Ghost’s bio-scans.

//NOTES END//


	2. no rest tonight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> do we always know what we leave behind...?

Exos usually can’t cry. This one specifically got a modification to let them. One of the first things she did after being rezzed. Sure, she had to refill the reservoir every so often, but actual emotional release that  _ didn’t _ involve shooting hapless Fallen in the head?

It was that or copious amounts of rough sex, and Astra could not deal with that right now. Not when the one person she trusted to touch her had died. 

And she broke up with her. She felt worse about that, if she was honest. The death was just added insult to injury. 

Does that make her a bad person? To feel worse that she had been wronged and hurt than that someone several people clearly cared for had popped it.

Light, she wasn’t drunk enough to think about this. Drunk enough to cry, though. Thank the Traveller for exo mods.

Luna, her brother, wordlessly passed two drinks across to the two exo guardians sat at the kitchen’s island. Granite countertops, like Astra liked, but she is willing to compromise.

_ Was _ , she reminds herself. Single now, again. Alone. Mostly.

Feros sat next to her, staring into the swirling layers of the mixed drink, lost in the hypnotic swirls as sharp metal nails dug into synthetic skin on his palm. 

“She seemed fine. Her ship was sound. One of those fancy Reef models that Mara gave out before she snuffed it. She even gave me a hug.”

Glass shattered. Vodka spilled across the countertop.

“I had to wait 6 months for her to touch me.To hold my hand, to hug me, to…” Astra trailed off. Feros looked over, lost and filled with loss. Eyes unfocused, the servo motors being fed false information as the intoxication protocols took over in their silicon brains.

“I.. didn’t know. I’m sorry. She didn’t hug me much either, I’ve known her for decades. This was the first time,” he stumbled over his words.

“And you didn’t think to mention it? To ask?” she spat.

“I…” Feros looked away.

“She didn’t care. Neither did you, huh.”

Astra took and downed his drink and stood, swaying wildly, the balance gyros capped a lower capacity for the time. 

“Fuck you.”

“Astra…” Luna called out, softly, somewhat scaldingly.

Astra was already moving out. A letter, written on some kind of parchment. The fancy stuff she’d asked for, though it had gotten tear-stained in the end. No point in posting it if Ishmaea was dead. She’ll burn the next one.

\----------

“Ishmaea.

We ended badly, yeah. But you were supposed to come back. We were supposed to talk about it. You lied to me again, huh. I shouldn’t be surprised. I’m not. I’m disappointed. 

Don’t come back to me. You can’t. You’re dead. But since when has that stopped any of us.

The least I can do is try and forget you. This stupid letter? Part of that. 

Forever better than you,

Astra-3”


	3. Intercepted Transmission from a Jovian Moon [IO]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Silence isn't always healthy for the mind.

TYPE: Transcript [INTERCEPTED BY TK-3]

DESCRIPTION: Message

PARTIES: Two [2]. One [1] Ghost-type, designate Andromedus [a]; One [1] Guardian type, Class Warlock, designate Ishmaea Dell’arte [id]

ASSOCIATIONS: Taken King, the; Oryx; Hidden, the; -3, Astra; Dreadnought, the; Mir, Asher; field work

//AUDIO RECOVERED//

//TRANSCRIPT FOLLOWS.../

[id:0.1] Are you recording?

[a:0.1] Yes, I have been for the last 30 seconds.

[silence]

[id:0.2] You’re serious?

[a:0.2] Always, but I have now erased those 30 seconds of recording.

[a sigh]

[id:0.3] Thank you. I don’t want to send that over vanguard airwaves.

[a:0.3] We are in space. There are no air-

[id:0.4] Yes, yes, I know. Status report. Rendezvous with Asher Mir complete, and I now have his support to venture into the Cradle and measure paracausal energies and effects there. Mission is on-going, and as of 4 days from arrival on Io and one week since the Dreadnought, there have been no noticeable changes in Cradle levels or readings. Andromedus will be taking my own readings and scans to compare with pre-encounter scans transmitted before the attack. Data attached.

[silence]

[id:0.5] Hi, babe. “Babe,” what am I saying, I never called you that. Darling? Light of my lives? I guess we never did pet names, and it’s pointless to do them now.

[silence]

[id:0.6] I had my eye on a flat, you know. New apartment building, close to Merit, Feros. Had a direct transport link to the Tower too. You would have loved it. Marble countertops, a gun bench fitted with so many tools. Some lovely oak cupboards, expansive kitchen. Huge office.

[silence]

[id:0.7] You don’t eat.

[silence]

[id:0.8] You preferred metal. Or lacquered white surfaces. Said it brought more light into the room. You never used the office at mine.

[a:0.4] Thirty seconds.

[id:0.9] Did I ever listen? Or rather… were you ever heard?

[silence]

[a:0.5] Are you done?

[id:1.0] Yes. Yes, I’m d-

//TRANSCRIPT ENDS//

//NOTES//

VIP #2874 again did not encode this message properly before sending it through VanNet channels, hence it was intercepted by Hidden forces. I hope this does not become a weekly occurrence, but I do not hold out hope. 

This message was transmitted to Astra-3, who attempted to send a letter to VIP #2874 via standard intra-City postage. Obviously, due to VIP #2874 off-site location, this letter could not be delivered, and will be held in storage until VIP #2874 returns.

Again, I am going to draw into question VIP #2874’s suitability for this mission based on her emotional state, which, by my personal analyses, remains unstable. Much to my chagrin, however, she remains physically unchanged after her time on the Dreadnought. You’d think that clashing head to head with a major paracausal entity would affect your physiology somehow, but apparently not. Pre- and post-Dreadnought scans, courtesy of Andromedus, show the standard effects of off-world activity for extended time, as well as heightened levels of Sterile Neutrinos, but nothing even close to concerning.

If it weren’t for her recent activity and the precision of these scans, I doubt the sterile neutrino level changes would have been noted. Alas, it is my job to note such things.

I must admit, my heart goes out for this “Astra-3”. I understand that leaving no traces is part of this assignment, however, and remain steadfast.

//NOTES END//

\---------------

//RESPONSE FROM IKO-006//

I believe that ISH-278’s intentions with these messages are crystal clear. Your concerns have been noted, Taeko, and will be taken under consideration. However, I implore you to recognise that we have trusted Guardians who have just experienced far worse traumas than what appears to be a break-up with far more important missions. 

If you believe your knowledge to be lacking, please brush up on the non-classified parts of ERI-223’s file at your convenience. 

I am also placing the surveillance of Hunter Astra-3, hereby designated AST-542, under your purview. Please include weekly status updates with your report on ISH-278.

//END RESPONSE//

\--------------

//RESPONSE FROM TK-3//

Why does she have two designations if she’s the same person? 

Confirmed surveillance of AST-542 is in place.

//END RESPONSE//


End file.
